1/27/11

sad-happy-sad-happy...

black & white photographs...an oil spill...a thought that slowly eats you...music & insults that one can't feel...

an old book...hands that are happy...rain clouds...and relevance...common thoughts...and silences that speak for us...

being safe...a moist eye...last handshakes...memories that pass us by...new hellos with old alibis...

window sills...uncertain kiss...nulls & voids...a truth that's naked...false alarms...new uprisings...and your laughter...

1/26/11

battling choices...

So, here’s the plot. On the farther side of the recent past, I was presented with a circumstance. I was given a single choice question. I found myself in a simple quandary. Now, as far as I can recollect, I have never been a huge fan of the rhetoric, of riddles that solve themselves. For better or for worse, I had to put my characteristic spin on this series of well known surprises. What I have done since, has led me to wonder profusely:
Are we all constantly battling choices?

Personally, there has never been a better time for me to wonder. Right now, I am rich in time. Seriously, I have so much time that I could start a charity. But the demands on my time are aplenty & complicated. Do I set a reminder for a retro-rock show on VH1, starting in precisely 5 hours or do I watch Gordon Ramsay take the piss out of yet another poor bloke microwaving frozen foods? Should I watch Ocean’s 11 for the (yes, you guessed it!) eleventh time or improve my Twirl score on Facebook? Should I crank up the volume on my Sound Master iPod dock to 33 while listening to Tommy by The Who or should I ponder about A R Rahman‘s inspiration for Luka Chuppi? Should I have 2 heart healthy omelets with olives, peppers & goat cheese or drink a bowl of multi-grain cheerios & non-fat milk? Should I work out my chest or legs today? Ellen or Oprah? Scrubs or Dr. Phil?

As I wrap my lips around a very stiff & rude red wine, my body is swimming in an ocean of blue that can only be created by the mixed glow of high definition TV & my laptop’s Joker (Heath, not Jack) wallpaper. And I am still wondering if I made the right choices.

I once read somewhere that the word decide comes from the Latin (or Greek or some such European race, that understood the importance of communication) word cide, which means to kill. So the word literally means to KILL your options. Whoa! Does this mean that every time we decide, we are committing bloody murder? Forget it; I am not aborting my alternatives! I am staying pro-choice!


But where, o where are the potent questions? The ones that hit you right between the eyes & make you scratch your head in utter confusion & dismay. The kind that swirl around in your head while you’re watching Good Will Hunting or listening to Pearl Jam. Why is it that the questions we most often face, are the ones with no-contest choices? When was the last time that alternatives to a question got into a ring of fire & battled for your soul?

Against my better judgment, I am inclined to believe that having options is a good thing. But life, in its characteristic manner has made me question my belief (so typical!). So answer this:
Is it better to go with the flow, as far as circumstances are concerned? To go through life dealing with a self-solving jigsaw puzzle, where the answers are always presented to you? If so, does it make wrong turns seem less wrongful? Does it acquit you of all guilt?

Or does it make you feel powerless?

Does power mean having options? Having opportunities to take a bow for your rights & take a blow for your wrongs? Being able to celebrate your triumphs or mourn your falls, knowing that YOU had a hand in it?

Maybe I can’t decide, maybe I don’t want to decide. But I will say this: to each it’s own…